Domo Arigato, Dr. Dento, y hasta lluego?!

During the weekend whenever I thought of the whole dental adventure awaiting me I felt angst. The thought of being $1,400 out of pocket after insurance for two crowns made me cringe. Of course the potter in my surfaced and I pondered on how a tiny piece of high fired porcelain, over stainless steel, could possibly cost $1,400. And that led me to wonder if I went into the wrong profession…after all, I could be working in clay for a living…but then again, who wants to sculpt nothing but upper bicuspids all day long? Not me, that’s for sure.

My mind went back to my teeth and I wondered how on Earth I’d ever let Dr. Dento talk me into this in the first place? I had gone through this back in October of last year when he had glued a different crown back on. It had lost a lot of the porcelain, but thankfully he said it would work fine, and I was glad. Unfortunately I made the mistake of mentioning that I was thinking of replacing it. He jumped at the opportunity, and informed me that I would have to get one put in on the upper as well as the lower molar, because the upper one was “ratty”. Inside I screamed that I‘ve been living with these teeth the way they are for 6 years! But I passive aggressively (as I’ve been known to do when I don’t want to do something and don’t want to deal with conflict) said, “Okay, I’ll call and make an appointment at the end of the year.” Of course I went my merry way and all was fine until the crown on the other side of my mouth fell off last week after eating Chinese food. Which makes me wonder, what kind of glue are they using? Elmer’s?? The cost to glue a crown on is about $175, that’s some pretty expensive ineffective glue! But I digress. Sigh.

It was like déjà vu, because after he glued the errant molar back in, he started in on me about scheduling the two crowns. Now there is no immediate reason for me to get the crowns mind you, its simply that the lower one is missing some of the porcelain, and the upper molar has a large filling in it. He scolded me for not coming in at the end of 2008. I in turn asked if I could time phase getting them, perhaps one at the end of the year and the second in 2010, this way they weren’t such a hit to the pocketbook. He obviously didn’t want to chance a repeat of our last encounter, so he quickly squelched this thought by advising me that I shouldn't put this off, and offered instead the opportunity to partake in a payment plan. He would allow me to pay $90 a month until the bill was paid. Well I thought, even though I don’t want the crowns that doesn’t sound too bad, so I agreed. But then within 15 minutes of discussing the next steps the payment plan morphed into $500 a month over a three month period. Good grief, this guy is slick! So, I let him schedule me for the crowns, it was either that or he would have started on them right then and there. And so the thought occurred to me, how busy could he be if he was going to take the next hour and a half to prep me for crowns? Maybe he’s not that busy and really does have to pay for the dental interior designer.

Anyway, I left there overwhelmed by the episode, it overshadowed my weekend, and it wasn’t ‘till Sunday morning that my very wise mother said to me, “They’re your teeth, if you don’t want crowns, don’t get crowns!” How pragmatic I thought, words of wisdom from the mouth of the one that never let anyone do anything to her that she didn’t want. My hero. And so it was that I was able to enjoy the rest of the day because I’d heard the voice of reason. On Sunday night when T-man and I went for Chinese food, I steered clear of the Sesame Chicken and opted for nice, soft pork lo mien. It was fabulous, and as I tried to eat those slippery noodles with chop sticks the happy thought of canceling my appointment twirled through my mind.

Hasta la vista Dr. Dento, until next time we….hmmmm...maybe I need to find a new dentist, I don’t want to go through this again. Sigh, that's the passive aggressive behavior coming out again! Oh well, I'm good to go until the next crown decides to fall out, and the saga goes on.

CD