Monday, August 20, 2012

Being a Winner in the Game Show of Life

Mr. T told me a story the other day and I didn’t know why, but it really annoyed me. Then as I thought about it I realized that it bothered me, because the person in the story was a brilliant, well-off, well respected, catered to, lived in a million dollar home, etc. type person. Although as with it as this guy appeared to be, in reality he proved that no matter how much education, money or to what social heights one can climb, nothing can fix stupid. And of course this guy proved to be dumber than dirt.

After the holidays this doctor decided to use the Christmas tree as firewood instead of recycling it. Okay, you may think this is innocent enough and not an issue, but he cleared a path to the hearth, lit a fire in the fireplace, and then laid the tree on its side with the intention of feeding the tree into the fire as it slowly burned. And yes he followed through with his brilliant plan, which worked famously until the tip top of the tree touched the small kindled fire and the whole thing exploded into flames. I would have loved to have seen the surprised look on his face...but I digress. Needless to say the entire house was incinerated.

As Mr. T told me the story my mind screamed, “WHAT KIND OF IDIOT doesn’t know that the needles of a dried out Christmas tree IGNITE and spread as quickly as when a spark hits a trail of gun powder?!? And as I shook my head at the ignorant stupidity of it all, it crossed my mind that the best way to sum it up would be to cross “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” with “Are You Smarter than a Third Grader?” to get the new smash hit, “Are you Smarter than a Millionaire?” And it made me happy to think that if I were a contestant in that show and pitted my wits against someone from the upper crust, and the question of burning a Christmas tree were posed to me I know I’d win hands down and would proudly confess, “Yes, yes I am smarter than a millionaire.” 


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